I am so terrible at updating

Okay so its been forever and a day since I've written any kind of post here so I'm going to attempt to describe to you whats been happening in my life lately. I'm warning you now this might be rather boring. Anyway, Thursday was my last day of work for four whole days, I was so excited to have that time off. Discovering of course that I have 5 days left of vacation to use and I can't use them in December I had to take advantage as much as possible. Now lets go back to Monday when I asked for the time off, my boss asked me how many days I had left to use... of course I said I have a whole week left! But the response I was looking for was not received instead she proceeds to ask me how thats possible, me taken aback think... 'ummm cause I have three weeks vacation and I've only used two of it'. My boss runs to talk to her boss about the whole thing and they both come back saying that I only get two weeks vacation but I was surely allowed to have a long weekend since there was a mix up. I should feel greatfull right?? WRONG. I was in a flurry trying to find out if I was mistaken that in my contract it had stated I get 3 weeks or not. Of course upon further examination my contract is no where to be found in the office. As soon as I got home I got out my copy and there in plain english it stated thus.


'There will be three (3) weeks paid vacation allotted to the employee'


HA! I told you I had three weeks its even written out! So with this knowledge in hand I told the necessary sources and my days were taken. Although I'm missing out on three days due to the no vacation in December rule... *sigh* oh well I'll know better next year. Anyway, thursday came and I was dying to go home, praying for sleep and relished in my late morning on Friday. I woke up, did my usual getting ready routine and headed out the door to pick up K macka for a day full of shopping in the city. Got my Christmas shopping done! Well really I have the bfs Dad left to buy for and then I have stocking stuffers but thats easy the hard part is all over with. Yay!

Satruday was an early morning and devoted to moving my grandfather and my aunt into their new homes, my grandpa has moved in with my parents and my aunt is now residing in an apartment on the other side of town, Lets just say it was a huge U-Haul truck and took 6 of us 5 hours to move it all. It was nuts. Sunday was another early morning devoted to family, the bf and I watched one of my younger cousins hockey games at the rink and then went out for brunch with my cousin and uncle on my uncles tab, gotsta love my family. Then my other cousin came over from a curling tournament he was in to hang out with us till his next game 7 hours later hahaha. It was fun though. My aunt and cousin came over to pick my other cousin up and take him to his game and by that time I was zonked. Monday was devoted to me and errands, but I got to sleep in. I love sleeping in. Come on weekend!

So cranky @!

You know what I hate? When people wake you up at 12:45 in the morning and fain being cute and cuddly and kissing you tenderly and holding you close and making you feel all euphorica only to tarnish everything by stating their cruel and petty ways. Yep so that happened to me last night. I was in a dead sleep until the bf came in to bed. Ten minutes later as I am getting settled into going back to rest my weary head on his warm and strong chest he has to spoil the whole moment by telling me he has decided that we are going to have seperate accounts on the computer so I have limited access to anything on it. I am super p.o.'d and he's wondering why. Ummmm hello! We've been together for two years and just now you're deciding to take away privileges like I'm your child or something. I don't think so mister. Nevertheless we ended up sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, with my blanket wall built up between us because I can't stand being near him and yet I am NOT leaving the warm comfort of the bed. The worst of it was I was up for an hour and a half worrying about the state of affairs with us... worrying about whether I really am up for dealing with this constant struggle I live in. I am really disliking my life right now and thats not a good thing. Stupid fcuking boys argh argh argh! Not only this happened to start my Tuesday off on a sour note but also the bf forgot to wake me up when he reset the alarm this morning for himself, so guess who just made it in time to catch her van ride to work, ME! I pulled up and blocked them in so they wouldn't leave without me. I hate today. I want to go home and curl up in bed and forget it ever happened.

Yuletide Season is near!

Monday morning yet again, sooo tired I need a change in routine. The bf and I are planning on moving! Yay! Not very far though, just across the yard to a new apartment but its something new and thats why its exciting! We're going to rent a two bedroom bungalow kind of thing. Its seperate from our apartment complex, has its own driveway and yard. So its like we're going to have our own little house, which I am dying to have. Anyway it won't happen officially till the new year but I can't wait.

This weekend was full of hijinks, Me and the bf went out on a dinner and movie date on friday night, saw the new Harry Potter movie, it was great! I love having date night with him its nice to have him all to myself for a night feeds my attention getting self quite nicely hee hee. On Saturday I headed over to Carebears place to help her move her stuff out, the place was a wreak, it is true that divorces are messy in more ways then one. Anyway my friend 'Lic from Toronto, who was down for the weekend, and I and Carebear dug right into the pile of stuff and started packing packing packing! Three hours later we're heading for food and then to the valley for a girls night out. I got to dance up a storm, chat up some boys and see some people who I hadn't seen in ages it was a great night. 4 AM I'm finally home and curling up with my warm boyfriend ahhhh it was great :)

The rest of the weekend passed by as usual and now I'm here at work and just finding out that I may not have as much vacation time as I was told first off. I need to find my contract to see if this is true! I can't be cut back without knowing it! ARGH! Stupid Mondays, can I got back to Saturday night please? That was what life is about having fun! *sigh*

Sniff, cough, oooo so dizzy

Okay so I woke up this morning feeling like I was going to keel over or barf or both... I hate that feeling, usually if I get up that way it just means that I needed more sleep and once I'm actually out of the house and on my way to work I start to feel better. Well this did occur and I thought that was my problem again, I just need to get to bed earlier... but not so, turns out I'm feeling so sick I don't think I'm going to make it to my cardio class tonight.... I love my class! I want to go... I tested out the waters at lunch if I could walk around downtown for at least a half hour straight without feeling like I was going to fall over then I could force myself to go to class. Didn't work. Feel like shit. Want. To. Go. Home. *moan*

Anyway, this weekend was a busy one. The bf and I headed out to Bayers Lake with his sister and brother-in-law for dinner and a movie. We went to Jack Astors, ate some yummy garlic bread, pretty much the only really great reason to go there hee hee... and then went to see the movie Jarhead. Now this movie was okay, definitely not your typical war movie, it was more about the camp life not about the actual war itself. I found it pretty good, but it was missing the action that I think every good war film should have. Not saying that there weren't really gross parts where you see dead people, unlike the sixth sense ha ha ha. Okay off topic. The movie was good, I recommend it if you're not into seeing people getting their arms or legs or any blood spilling at all. On Saturday, I headed to the valley for a day full of scrapbooking and girl time! Went over to my bestfriend J's house and hung out, made and ate supper, played with her gorgeous little 7 month old girl, and watched a chick flick. Ahhh the life! Got home late and enjoyed every minute of it. I missed the girl time. Sunday was devoted to laundry, ooo how I hate laundry, piling all our stuff into a basket and like two garbage bags and hauling it down to the laundromat hoping beyond hope that there will be at least 2 washers free or I'm going to be there forever. Lo and behold the place was empty, I thanked the lord and set to work. Two and a half hours later I'm heading in the door back from cleaning and folding and I totally planned on not placing any of it away hee hee... Never works. I tried at least. The rest of the day was a hectic one. Went to the curling club to watch my cousin curl, had my aunt and two cousins over for a visit, cleaned house and then made supper. Last night was the only night I had for me time and I took full advantage of it.

Grabbed some canvas and some blue and white paint and set to work on my next masterpiece. How I love to paint, taking colours on my palette and mooshing them together to make a colour I desire and then sweeping it all on a clean white canvas bringing whats in my mind to life. The best feeling in the world. The hardest part is waiting for the paint to dry so I can start on the next part of it. So I had to get at least four more canvases started hee hee... never the less our tiny apartment floor is starting to look like an art gallery where all the paintings slipped off the walls heheheh....Well I must go back to my illness and dizziness. So tired. So cranky. Want to sleep. zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Lonely Petals

Petals start to brown and wither
fallen from their place in line
feelings of sadness ensue
as the stem weeps petals on the leaf covered earth below
One petal holds on, waving madly in the little breeze
wanting to stay where it has settled and blossomed for all those warm summer days
as the nights cool off it would go into hiding along with its friends
but its friends are gone, the stem still weeps and the petal stays firm
wanting to leave and be with all the others yet comfortable and scared to vacate where it sits upon the stem
Indecisively it waits till the world decides what it should do

What goes on in peoples heads I'll never know

Scene: My apartment, 8:30 pm, just got done checking my email and am about to settle in for a night in front of the boob tube when all of a sudden my cell phone rings! (believe me, rare occurance on a weekday night unless I'm expecting a call which I wasn't)


Me: (After checking the caller ID) Hey Chicka! I haven't talked to you in ages how have you been? Whats going on?
CB (Carebear): I'm good, I just finally got your number. I didn't have it cause Chris had it in his phone for some reason and wouldn't give it to me.
Me: What the heck does HE have my number for?
CB: I don't know, anyway how are you?


The general niceties ensue and then we get down to the nitty gritty. Remember my post about a couple friends of mine who seemed to be the perfect couple but are not and are now seperating? Well this is one half of that couple and one of my best friends.


CB: So I went to a lawyer today and started drawing up the seperation papers.
Me: Really? So whats going on with you guys then? Obviously its officially over but are you living at your moms now?
CB: I'm mostly at moms, I come back to the house about 2 or 3 times a week to stay, just to pack stuff and sort out whats mine and whats his. My lawyer was telling me about all the stuff I am required to get when we seperate and he had said that I could get an annulment because he's not the man I married and that counts under falsehood or something in an annulment contract, but in the long run he said that it would mean us going to court and costing alot more money and time and effort then if we just got seperated legally and then divorced in a year so we're going that route.
Me: Well that sounds good then. So you're still at the house? Is he there when you are? Don't you find that really awkward?? I sure as heck would!
CB: We avoid eachother as much as possible and its good when I want to sort stuff out that he's here to go through it all. He's seeing his lawyer tomorrow, he got mad at me tonight though cause I wanted to check my email before I went to bed and he was on the computer. He's gotten really retarded with stuff. Did I tell you he's seeing someone else?
Me: WHAT! ALREADY? You guys have only officially chosen to get legally seperated. What the heck are you talking about he's already seeing someone? Who?
CB: Well he asked me a couple weeks ago if I had a problem with him seeing other people and I of course have a problem with that, cause he gave me such a hard time about making a decision about whether we should stay together or not and he seemed really torn up about me not being sure what I wanted, so I told him 'No Chris you don't need my permission you can see whoever you want' with a sarcastic tone and then he had the gaul to ask me if he could get a signed piece of paper stating that in writing! He then proceeded to draw up the paper and try to get me to sign it.
Me: You didn't sign it did you??
CB: Heck no! Anyway he called up this girl and then they went out for dinner and a movie the next night. He's already been to meet her parents and everything!
Me: Oh My God. WHAT AN ASS! Who the hell does that! I thought he was all upset that you guys couldn't work things out! Thats freakin retarded!
CB: Thats not the end of it, now I'm not sure on this but I got an email on our joint email account from one of Chris's co-workers, Sheena, talking about how people are losing respect for Chris and this girl Jennifer who he's seeing and works with, How there are rumors flying around that the two of them are together and have been together before, I guess he took her out for a night in the city and I mean a night. I'm not sure cause I haven't talked to him about it but I have no doubt they spent the night there. It sounds like they've been seeing eachother for awhile.
Me: OH MY GOD! Like even when you two were still married and together and all that!?
CB: I guess so.
Me: Holy Shit! I can't believe this, what an asshole! I'm glad you're getting rid of him. So he's met her parents and everything! Who the hell takes this guy to meet their parents whos married still and living with his estranged wife! She must be missing a few marbles then.
CB: Apparently she's got quite the reputation around work, they all say she's easy. AND this weekend I was in the valley at moms as usual and when I got back the house was spic and span, he had cleaned and he never cleans, so I asked him what was up? and he just said he had company, so I asked him if it was her and he said yes but what is it of my business, besides they didn't do anything and blah blah blah. I jsut told him they better not have been in my bed because thats just wrong. I can't believe it.
Me: Holy crap! Well Michael told me that he wouldn't be surprised that Chris got a gf in no time, he said that he always seemed to have one. I just didn't think it would be this quick this is retarded.
CB: I know. Michael said that?
Me: Yep, he said that Chris was always attached.
CB: I don't know what to think, I mean its just overwhelming you know. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm so stressed out I can't sleep. I had a break down at work, they gave me a day and a half off and I'm going to see a counsellor and if I need to go on stress leave work said that was fine. Oh and I'm getting a transfer to the Valley school board next year and moving back there.
Me: Really? Oh I'm going to miss having you around here. You know if you need anything just let me know, and if you need a place to stay you're always welcome. We have to get together sometime I haven't seen you in so long!
CB: Thanks Chicky. Well I have to go talk to you later! Have a great night!
Me: You too chicka!


I hang up the phone in total disbelief! I can't believe the nerve of some people who use and manipulate other peoples emotions to get what they want. When the bf came home we talked about CB and The Rat, the bf is friends with The Rat and when him and my friend CB got together, they introduced me and the bf so they broguht us to eachother and I was so shocked and appalled at what was going on with two people who I really enjoy and appreciate. The bf stated that more then likely thats why The Rat went over the edge like he did, in order to make it look like CB was the bad guy in the whole thing because she wanted to get out of the whole thing and wash her hands clean of it, and in the end he did it so he could be with that girl. We pondered different theories, Me totally hating The Rat for what he did to my friend, and the bf being more lenient on the matter of The Rat, he agreed with me though that it was rotten what he did to CB and that he deserves what he gets and CB should take full advantage of this new information coming to light when it comes to the divorce. I hope she takes that boy for all he's worth cause you get what you give and he's gotta get whats coming to him!

Who knew growing up would be so hard

So last night the bf and I had a chat about the future. He is dying to move out and get a house and get stuff all organzied, while I am yearning to get our own home too there are so many things left undecided, like our finances and exactly where we're going to settle down and set up house and all that jazz. So we're in the middle of talking about where we're going to move to and I was always under the assumption that he was willing to move halfway in between my work and his that way we have equal driving time, not to mention the fact that I've been driving out of my way for over two years to be with him and he just has to go 5 mins down the road but he is set in his ways and man was he ever uncompromising last night.

Him: Well if we move to Tantallon I'm going to have to give up hockey and working late is out cause I hate driving and if you want me to leave work early and end up losing my job well FINE THEN!

Me: Thats not what I want at all, how do you know you can't find a place to play hockey around where we are? And I am so not telling you that you have to leave work early I just don't see why we can't compromise on it cause I really am getting tired of traveling and if I can cut that time down so I have more time to be at home and when we have kids be there for them I would love it.

Him: We're not going to work out.

Me: Why? just because I want to be closer to work, fine then, why not Hubbards then. I just don't want to be on this side of Hubbards further from Tantallon, if you want to we can get a place on the other side of Hubbards but still in Hubbards.

Him: Well why not where Brian and Allison live, somewhere in that area right near the exit.

Me: They live down a dirt road by a lake! I don't want that, I want to live somewhere where I can just go down to the grocery store if I need something and like on a main road or off of it but paved, maybe in a nice little subdivision or something.

Him: Well I want to be around here, I guess I'll just have to live at my moms during the week then.

Me: Well then whats the point.

Him: Exactly.

Me: (under my breath) oh my god.

Him: Well I want to be around here and if I find a place around here that I want then I'm going to get it, besides its my money thats going to be paying for the downpayment on it anyway and I know I'm not being considerate of you and what you want but oh well.

Nevertheless the argument did not end out well. He has decided that I'll get what I want and he's being selfish and he just wants to rant and rave about not getting his way so let him rant and rave. Where as I'm willing to work it out and compromise on things, when it comes to him, if he doesn't get what he wants he's cranky and right now I'm at the point where I feel let him be f**king cranky I don't care anymore.

Trials and Tribulations

It seems lately that everyone of my friends who was happy and content in a long-term relationship have all decided to jump said ship with gusto! Our married couple of the group has taken to fighting without letting anyone else know, we always saw them as the happy, settled, getting ready to have kids kind of couple. They had the house, the cars, the dog...but little did we know about the turmoil inside of that happy home until they divulge that they are seperating and have been living in seperate rooms and sometimes seperate places for a while now. I'm amazed at how good people can hide stuff! Makes me think about how much I hide about my relationship, on here I hold back on some information cause I don't want to make this all about me and the bf, I want to make it about ME. Its my blog and I want to talk about myself like any good, upstanding, young woman should do hee hee. But in real life how much do I really talk to anyone about whats going on at home? Honestly not that much, I vent sometimes and and get advice but I never have told the whole entire story and I don't think I ever will. Theres just things you don't want people to know about, isn't that sad that you have to keep the stuff that really bothers you hidden? No wonder people go through so much turmoil, depression, anixety and the like... Well nevertheless its time to focus on my friends who are having hard times, relationships ending, Sides being taken and all out crying sessions where my shoulder gets wet. It sucks but I'm happy to help out when I can.

One of the bfs friends who had to get a girls view on things, came to me to talk to me about his gf who now resides in another province due to school, apparently said gf got plastered out of her mind and kissed a guy. Of course she told her bf what happened to relieve her guilt and her bf broke up with her and wants to know what I think on the whole situation. First of all, I don't know this girl very well but I know he really, really cares about her and this bit of info tore him apart. On another note its hard to give advice that I honestly wouldn't take myself so I have to state both sides of the coin, its a good thing she told him but at the same time since she remembered it happened she obviously knew she was doing something wrong when she did it and now she's relieving her guilt by telling him and really only hurting him more in the process. Its a hard topic to argue. I myself would not forgive and trust again too easily. I talked to the bf about the situation and expressed my opinion that its good that she told him but it doesn't make it right to do in the first place and I so would not want to be with someone I couldn't trust not to get drunk and go off and kiss other girls and think its okay cause they told me it happened, HELL NO! If you want to go out and get drunk and kiss other women then break up with me first cause I ain't having none of that. However the bfs view on this topic was if the person was drunk its not worth throwing away a relationship because of it, which in some instances is true, but overall its still wrong. You knew you were doing something wrong, you knew you'd regret it, you knew it would hurt the person you're with, so why, WHY in the hell would you even start down that road and do it? Doesn't make sense to me. I for one will not put up with it, if I'm loyal to you then I expect the same in return and thats that.

What do you all think?

my pumpkin skeleton all lit up and ready to be flaunted! 

My awesome pumpkin skeleton in broad daylight or really inside lighting hee hee