So I didn't get much sleep last night I had every intention of going to bed early, the whole night I half slept on the couch putting off going to bed too early because I always wake up way too early then. The bf got home from his regular night of goal keeping at the local rink and the night just spiraled downwards from there. Its not a nice feeling waking up on the couch, the lights still on and left all alone. He had gone to bed, without even saying goodnight which means he's pissed at me, the only thing is I had no clue why. All I did was watch That 70's Show and sleep on the couch while he was on the computer and taking his bath. Never the less my night ended up in spurts of raking gasps of breath, sobbing, crocodile tears and trips to the bathroom to blow my nose while the bf half-slept, half-ignored me. I'm seriously thinking about what my life would be like without him. Would I be happier? Would I really be better off? If things keep up this way I may just try it and see. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep, I'm sick of the jekyll and hyde drama that I live and most of all I'm sick of not being happy.
I'll think on this subject and get back to you, depending on how things go when I get home today I may just be making the next step towards life without misery.
********update**********
We have come to a conclusion that a mixture of sleep deprivation, Stress over work related incidents (his work) and PMS have brought us to a regular routine of getting on each others nerves. Also the fact that we live in the smallest apartment known to man and the only way to avoid eachother in the apartment is to hide in a closet has brought us to the ultimate decision that we love each other and thats all that matters so let the turmoil proceed but the relationship will go on. Thank god for having a guy who loves to cuddle when I'm upset.
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