long time no vent

Holy crap! Its been forever since I've posted on this. Lets see whats happening? I have been very blessed with a little girl, she turned one not too long ago. Life has still been crazy, even more so with a kid thrown in the mix. My weight is the worst its ever been no fault of my own of course i tried to stay healthy during my pregnancy and afterwards but lots of stress in my life has caused me to turn to food, particularly chocolate covered Almonds, they are my mortal enemy, sneaky little buggers! So I'm working away at eating better and trying to get to the gym as often as possible but somedays you just don't feel like working out. Especially when aunt flow is in town and she has become a raging flood ever since giving birth, nobody warned me about how your body turns into a whole new entity once you have a kid. I knew to expect the excess weight and the stretch marks, but i didn't expect the heavier (this may be gross but I leak like a sieve now) periods, the anal fissures you can all of a sudden have occur to you, the loss of totally good teeth (just to let you know i still have all my teeth but most of them have fillings all over them). It was all worth it to have the gift of our little girl though she is the best present God ever gave me.

Anyway, I have some things on my mind lately so here goes my vent session. Why the f@cK! do men have to be so god damn childish??  I realize that when we decided to have a child that we were taking on a huge responsibility but i thought that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad considering there are two of us. Now don't get me wrong my husband can be very helpful and he does do a lot to help out me and help out with our daughter but what he doesn't do is take her entirely if I'm trying to get something done. Heaven forbid he doesn't get the things he wants to do done i would never hear the end of it. For example, yesterday I was home all day cleaning the house, taking care of our daughter and basically providing for everyone else's needs. He had stated that when he got home he would take care of her and I could do what i wanted to do, but that evening he wanted to get some things done outside. I of course said sounds good to me, I was so excited to get some time to do what i wanted to do without my little miss hanging off my leg, I needed a break she's been teething so its been "mommy, mommy, mommy" followed by blue murder crying at the top of her lungs until I pick her up. He doesn't deter this at all even when I'm in the shower i don't get time to myself, he's supposedly taking care of her and playing with her yet she ends up outside the shower stall door banging on it every time and he only comes when i need to get her to move to get out, just moves her out of the way and then walks back to where he was leaving her with me. Its so frustrating, anyway I digress, back to the story, so he gets home and she finally had just went down for a nap. What does he proceed to do? Go straight outside and work on what he wanted to get done, telling me to let him know when she wakes up and he'd come in, total bullshit, I knew he wouldn't come in until he was good and finished with his task. I also knew that as soon as he came in, he'd spend an hour on the toilet playing his iPod and then another hour in the tub, before he even though about coming out and taking over. Which means he'd come out and play his iPod on the couch while watching tv, letting her come and "play" with mommy. *sigh*

So never the less, that's exactly what happened and on top of that when I was trying to get supper ready he proceeded to tell me he didn't want it he wanted something different. That was the last straw I blew up, and of course when i get mad he gets mad and it becomes all about him, it makes me even madder. So to make a long story short, once I got our little girl ready for bed, got her stuff packed for the next day and did the dishes, I went to bed and didn't say a word to him all night.

This morning it was all rainbows and unicorns from him cause he knew he was in deep but I wouldn't give an inch, still a little pissed off and trying to find a way to get through my anger and come back to a happier me. All I want though is some sweet potato fries and a milkshake, *sigh*, my life sucks sometimes but I have to live it have too many people who rely on me not to.