Okay so I have been slacking more then I have been contributing to this little online journal of my life eh? Oh well ces't la vie, life has just gotten too hectic but at the same time nothing really worth writing about has happened to me. No major changes in the love department, the fights are still occuring, my feelings are still up in the air and the crying is still being maintained so thats nothing new. There was some progress in a future direction, we have started looking at houses and I was actually starting to get excited and think about our future together and really starting to look forward to it until the tormoil started again last night. It seems as soon as I'm happy and on the right track my train derails and all is lost. The bf has decided that I'm a big speed bump in his plans for his future, he has yet to get over the stage that its not all about him anymore, I'm starting to think he's never going to get over that stage and I am wasting my time thinking that maybe he will be. Anyway fights ensued, tears were shed (by me heaven forbid he have any emotion other then anger) and harsh words were rained upon eachother. I spent the night on the pull out couch just to get away from him and have time to myself. Took a day and headed home to my parents and realized that, while it did feel good to be with them again, I don't feel like I belong there. Its like I'm in limbo and have no where to go so I just keep running on the hamster wheel trying to get ahead or even fall behind but get stuck in the middle of nowhere fustrated, angry and depressed.
No comments:
Post a Comment