I had the worst weekend ever, but as per usual thats not a surprise. I'm starting to think that I need a change and in a major way. I cried alot this weekend and it was in part by the influence of the bf. I don't know that I'll ever be happy with him again, don't you sometimes wish you could go back to the days when you just met and you're getting to know eachother. When there was more good times then bad ones? I so wish I could. No matter how much I try to make myself happy and try to look on the bright side things just keep happening to make me so upset with myself and who I am and what I am. I've never questioned myself so much as I do now. I agonize over my appearance, a new pimple which I thought would have all but dissapated by now just makes me that much more mad at my body and myself and my life. I stress over everything, I feel all alone and I wish I could just up and make a decision already and change my life and start a new. I love my bf. So much it hurts, but I can't help but wonder if its worth all the pain I have to endure to be with him. Like the song says 'Love Hurts' but I didn't know it had to hurt this much. Oh god I wish I could be someone else.
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