A random IM while waiting for my friends started a conversation that would take me on a rollercoaster ride from infatuation, joy and love to anger, loathing and despair. A chance meeting, night at a pool hall with friends and the two of us flirting like highschool kids. Cue handling lessons only meant as a ploy to get close to one another, to feel eachother out per se. We didn't want the night to end, taken by a lark to a local lounge and dancing was done to the hynoptic beats, drinks were drunk but few and far between, too busy talking and flirting and caressing. Car rides to and from destinations led to me ending up at your place, sitting cuddled up on your couch watching a movie but not really watching it. Sleeping in the same bed, our first kiss, the lovely way it happened, the shy questions whispered among the covers, nothing happened but cuddling and sleep and random kisses it was amazing. The sad depart the next day as we lived so far from eachother and I had to head to work, the vow to talk that night, the promises kept, the relationship that developed and bloomed. The sacrifices made, me moving in, the traveling I had to do and the want and need to do it just to be with you. Years that pass, the tears that were few at first become more consistent and heavy. The depression and the physical proof of dismay I feel. The love that still lies in my heart for who you were, the loathing for who you've become. Sometimes it seems like I never really knew you, what happened to the man I fell hopelessly and madly head over heels in love with? I am torn between two extremes, I yearn to be with you when I'm not, I want to run away from you when I am. Love is hard.
